I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
