everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
