Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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