his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize