can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
