I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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