so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
