maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize