Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
