The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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