I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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