I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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