I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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