Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
