i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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