just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
