dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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