if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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