Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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