She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
