i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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