I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize