Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
