Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
