btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
