She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
