Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
