Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
