brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
