I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
