you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
