Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
