i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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