i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
