And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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