His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have feelings that need drinking.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
