6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
