needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
