party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize