i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
