i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
