Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
