Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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