suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
