Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
