i was born a porn star she said
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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