I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
