NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
