I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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