It was confusing and full of hummus
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize