You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
