READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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