if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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