You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
