just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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