I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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