they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize