I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
