STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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