We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
