Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
