I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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