I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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